HP Peeps Go to a Muggle High Shchool in the USA
by Nancy D
Summary: My first challenge fic for METMA Mandy. Happy and (hopefully) funny! Please r/r!


A/N:  
Ok friends, this is my first challenge fic, and I'm writing about the very first subject that comes to my mind: science. I don't care that everyone hates potions, I LOVE chemistry! I did ask about *choice language* earlier, but that was because my original idea was to do a Harry Potter characters on 'Jackass' sort of thing, but I changed my mind. Perhaps I should include some anyways? I don't know, you'll have to find out. I hope my story's funny, it should have a bit of everything in it. (No romance. In my mind, 'romantic comedy' is an oximoron.) ::Sings: Put your picture on my wall and it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad at all...:: Sorry, (you guessed it) that song's in my head. I have everything in my head from Today Show jingles to Bach. You must think I'm nuts. Well, I'm not insane. Promise! (There I go, I just ruined my chances for the Insanity Award. That's ok, Allex can have it.) Anyways, have fun and most of all ENJOY my story. And (you guessed it) be happy and watch the stock market!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer:  
I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Here Goes!!!!!!  
  
  
  
~*~Harry Potter Characters Go On a Feild Trip to a Muggle School in America!!!~*~  
  
"Alright, students, I want you to be on your BEST BEHAVIOUR!" shouted Professor McGonnagall through the crowd of 4-7 year Hogwarts students who were taking a feild trip to an American Muggle highschool. No one was quiet, no one felt like listening, and no one felt like being on their best behaviour. They were too interested in seeing how the Muggles went to school to care about anything else.  
  
"Muggle school's horrible!" said Harry. "Hogwarts is MUCH better!"  
  
"But that's only because you got picked on by Dudley," said Hermione. "I had a great time in Muggle school!"  
  
"But that was elementary school, both of you!" said Ron. "High school is much different. Besides, I've never been a Muggle before. I want to see it!"  
  
"We've never been Muggles before either," pointed out Hermione. "We just lived with 'em!"  
  
"You always have to be so right, Hermione!" said Ron, giving her a nudge on the arm. "Let's go."  
  
~*~*~  
  
They arrived at the school by Portkey. The school was called Northwest High School, and it was somewhere in Nebraska. Everyone couldn't help noticing the funny color of the sky, but they figured it must be an America thing.   
  
"I will divide you into groups," said Professor McGonnagall, "and you are to go to your classes with your groups." She passed out schedules with group numbers on them. "You are to go with whoever has your same number."  
  
Everyone shuffled around trying to find their group. Harry's group contained Ron, Fred, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Lavender Brown, Angelina Johnson, and Dean Thomas. Hermione was in a group with mostly 6th years, including Cho. But Harry was happy with his group, and as soon as Professor McGonnagall gave the signal, everyone ran into the open doors of the school building.  
  
"First class is chemistry..." said Ron, reading the schedule. "I wonder what that is..."  
  
"Ooh," said Harry. "Chemistry is a bit like potions, I think."  
  
"Damn, I hate potions!" said Ron. (There's my *choice language* I'm done now.)  
  
"Well, maybe this teacher will be nice," said Harry. "But we have to get to the 3rd floor."  
  
"Great," said Ron. "Where are the stairs?"  
  
"We can always take the elevator."  
  
"The what?"  
  
"The elevator. It's a big box that goes up."  
  
"Like magic?"  
  
"No, like, uhm, uh, not like magic!"  
  
"Sweet! Let's go!"  
  
Harry's group packed into the tiny elevator, which was already full with Muggle students, and headed for the 3rd floor. Harry reached out to press the little number 3 on the wall, and it lit up.  
  
"AWESOME!" said Ron, who attracted a lot of stares from the Muggle students who were in the elevator as well. Pretty soon, the door opened, and they all stepped out. "We're in a DIFFERENT PLACE!" said Ron.   
  
"I know," said Harry. "We're on the 3rd floor."  
  
"Let me try this again.." said Ron, who tried to step back on the elevator, but the doors started to close on him.  
  
"HELP! HELP!!" screamed Ron.   
  
"I'll save you!" said Katie Bell, and she dove in the elevator after him. The door finally opened, and Ron and Katie were lying on the floor, both partway in the elevator. A group was starting to form around them, trying to see what the commotion was. Just then, an angry looking bald man pushed through the crowd.  
  
"Where are you supposed to be?" he inquired or Ron and Katie.   
  
"Chemistry," said Ron.  
  
"Then you get there!" said the man. Then he turned to the rest of the students. "And you get back to your classes to. Pronto!"  
  
~*~*~  
  
Harry's group entered the chemistry lab 5 minutes late. The class had already assembled, and there were viles and test tubes filled with nasty liquid set up on the lab table. But they could already tell the class wasn't going to be like Snapes. The teacher was a woman with with a humongous fro, and pink lipstic.   
  
"Hello, you must be the visitors," she said to Harry's group. "I'm Mrs. Froes. You guys can take a seat, we're about to start a lab."  
  
"What's a lab?" Ron asked Harry.  
  
"I wouldn't know one if it punched me in the face."  
  
"Right," said Ron, and they sat down at some desks.  
  
~*~*~  
  
A few moments later, the lab started. Ron and Harry were lab partners, and they had a series of test tubes, viles, and beakers in front of them, along with a series of different ingredients and a Bunsen burner. They put one thing in one test tube, and something else in another test tube, and heated something else in a beaker over the Bunsen burner.   
  
"Ugh," said Ron, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I must have allergies to whatever this is cooking here."  
  
"Um, do you want a tissue?" asked Harry.  
  
"That would be nice."  
  
"Go ask Mrs. Froes, she won't bite."   
  
Ron gave him a look as if to say, "Seriously?" Then, he went up to Mrs. Froes and said, "I seem to have some allergies to our lab, would you happen to have some Kleenex handy?"  
  
"Well..." said Mrs. Froes, "I DO have my steel-belted radial Kleenex!" She pulled out a package of Bounty paper towels and gave one to Ron. "Mwahahahahaha!" she screamed. "Hav fun blowing your nose with these! Mwhahahahahaha!"  
  
"Ok," said Ron, who took the paper towel and walked away...slowly.  
  
"Remind me never to ask for a Kleenex again in a Muggle American school."  
  
"Don't worry," said Harry.   
  
The two of them focused their attention back to Mrs. Froes. She was now pouring a quart of motor oil over a large bowl of pudding.   
  
"Hey," said Harry. "That looks like the pudding Dobby knocked over in the summer before Second Year. That was bad."  
  
"But what's she doing with that oil?" aksed Ron.  
  
"We can only guess."  
  
"Oh boys?" Mrs. Froes called from her desk.   
  
Harry and Ron went up to her.  
  
"I seem to be out of motor oil. Do you think you two can run across the street to the gas station and pick up a quart for me?"  
  
"No problem," said Harry.  
  
~*~*~  
  
But by the time they arrived at the gas station, they had already forgotten their assignment.  
  
"Hi, uhm, we were sent here to pick up some..." said Harry.  
  
"Uh, that, uh, car stuff, I think?" said Ron.  
  
"Gasoline?" asked the gas station guy.  
  
"Yeah, that's it!" they both said.   
  
The guy gave them 6 gallons of gasoline, and they carried it back to their classroom.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Here it is, Mrs. Froes!" they said, as they carried the gasoline into the classroom.   
  
"Great!" said Mrs. Froes, who had just finished blowing her nose into the steel-belted radial Kleenex. "Here, pour it on top like this."  
  
They began pouring the gasoline over the pudding. A student came up to Mrs. Froes, but she just said, "Bugger off, we're busy," and threw the steel-belted radial Kleenex at him.  
  
"Now it has to cook!" said Mrs. Froes happily, after the gas can was empty. She got out a lighter and held it near the pudding, pulled the trigger, and  
  
BOOM! BANG! CRASH! BLOW-UP NOISES!!!!!!  
  
There was a humongous explosion, resulting in a conflagration (vocab. word, look it up!) in the science lab. Everybody ran out of the room and headed for the stairs.  
  
"Let's take the elevator!" said Ron.  
  
"NO!!!" said everone. "You never take elevators in a fire!"   
  
~*~*~   
  
They ran down the stairs and outside, but now the sky was an even funnier color. Of in the distance was a -  
  
"TORNADO!!!" screamed everyone! "QUICK, INSIDE!"  
  
"FIRE!!" screamed everyone else! "OUTSIDE!"  
  
Nobody knew what to do, except for the Hogwarts students who all head for the Portkey, and disappeared back to Hogwarts.  
  
As for the students and faculty of Northwest High School, the school burnt down and blew away, but everyone was safe. As for Mrs. Froes, she suffered brain damage, though she never was quite right in the head...  
  
  
  
~*~THE END!!!~*~   
  
  
  
Here are the requirements for the new challenge: [week of 04.22.01]  
x*Must be in txt format and funny.  
x*Must include Katie Bell  
x*Someone needs to say, "Bugger off, can't you see we're busy?"  
x*Someone needs to have big hair. Very big.  
x*Must include a quart of motor oil. Don't ask...  
x*The pudding Dobby knocked over in CoS must be mentioned.  
x*Ron must be fascinated by an elevator.  
x*Someone needs to say, "Um, do you want a tissue?"  
  
  
  
A/N:  
I hope you liked it! I had fun writing it! Oh, and Kates and Dani, I know you both hate Harry Potter, but this includes Fro AND the steel-belted radial Kleenex! And you thought Purell was good! 


End file.
